Plutonic relationships in astrology, learning to let go an intuitive astrological guide

AKA, My name is Chucky, you wanna to play?

The purpose of the plutonic relationship is to learn to transform yourself and learn to let go. Plutonic relationships show us our blind spots and the things which hold us back from becoming our highest self.

Plutonic relationships take you down into the abyss and shadows of your self-destruction and soul.

No one is perfect, we all have blemishes, what makes us complete, is taking responsibility for our choices.


Songs…never be the same again, mel c

Addicted to love Robert palmer

You are everything, and everything is you, mary j blige

Electric 6 danger

Blackstreet don’t leave me

Never can say goodbye – Gloria Gaynor

loving every minute – lighthouse family

Makeup to break up- Sandra cross

suspicious minds- Elvis Priestley 


Playlist to listen to when reading this, as lets face it, this is one looooonnnng article! For you millennials out there, sorry most of the songs are “boomer music” , lol

Plutonic relationships – keynotes

  • Let the games commence – when I feel you pulling away
  • Combustive chemistry
  • Ninja style mind games
  • Underworld intensity
  • Shocks to the system
  • Self/ soul revelation
  • Light out of darkness
  • Intense jealous
  • Sexual perversions
  • Seeing through each other's lies, mask and personas
  • Fear, so much fear, triggers so many triggers
  • Often seen as a soul mate, twin flame connection, may have been caught in a karmic loop for centuries or millennia.
  • In fact is a negative twin flame connection- unless both parties transcend their self-destructive tendencies, learning to manage all aspects of personality.
  • Persephone initially repelled by the plutonic person...but feels guilty for doing the battle commences.
  • Can cause depression
  • Push and pull relationship
  • Obsessive connection -on a spiritual level, an addiction that may have been going on over lifetimes- need to transcend these connections for both parties.
  • Usually, the most plutonic person out of the pair does not learn the lesson, so often gets left behind when their partner moves on to save self.
  • The plutonic person can refuse to change, rather stunts and control others, so things stay the same.
  • Hard to give up and let go, feel like they are the one and only, fear of never finding love or happiness again.
  • Weird sexual liaisons, often third parties are involved, a plutonic person may have a lot of friendships- secret encounters with exes.
  • Like each other's drug- highly toxic connection
  • Robust sexual exchanges often can fall out after having sex, like one minute making love, next minute breaking up-seriously
  • Highly volatile, can be intense arguments – even physical violence.
  • Serve to Bring childhood or hidden/ ignored/numbed wounds to surface.
  • Often the Persephone person, refuse to face her own shadow aspects, but they are exhibited by the more plutonic person.
  • Persephone must face their shadow
  • Drain vital life force, finances, emotions, lifestyle
  • Mutually destructive
  • The non-plutonic person lacks a sense of self or has an unstable sense of self.
  • The plutonic person seeks to control and stunt growth out of fear of losing non-plutonic/ lesser plutonic person.
  • Both partners are insecure
  • Pluto is punching above own weight, as in if Persephone didn't full under Hades spell, she wouldn't look twice at them.
  • Pluto will transform personality to suit Persephone at start putting on the mask of the perfect partner.
  • But warning signs will always be there from the start, but both parties fell complied to be and stay together
  • Excessive breakup and makeup's
  • The plutonic person has baggage they will not deal with, as does Persephone, but the non-plutonic person will be actively trying to change, throughout their life.
  • The plutonic person is more likely to use substances and induce the Persephone person to partake in things out of their normal character.
  • Turns into a love-hate relationship, but on the subconscious, it was always an attraction, repulsion relationship


Blinded and obsessive relationships, has a destructive element one or both partners drink, abuses drugs, is violence, controlling, insecure, egotistical has excessive naracistic traits.

The person who has the strongest Pluto aspects in their natal chart will rule the relationship, even if the other person has a strong Pluto aspect/ influence in their natal chart too.

The strongest Pluto person holds power in the plutonic relationship, extra attention should be given to Pluto, Mars, Pisces, Neptune and Saturn contacts to Mars and Pluto in the synastry chart.

Pluto is about subconscious transformation, Pluto co-rules Scorpio and the 8th house, with Mars.  Pluto in a natal chart wants you to transform your negative thoughts, behaviours and any of destructive habits.

In relation to the houses it is in and the aspects it makes with other planets and asteroids.

The 8th house is more about the things we bury and hide because there is too much trauma, shame, regret or guilt put to them. Whereas the things hidden in our 12th house are often things, we are unaware of doing or being.

A plutonic relationship is often centred around unresolved, subconscious – psychological/ soul trauma, around, undealt with childhood trauma or abuse.

Traumas involving Embarrassment about your sexuality as a youth, issues around self-expression, subconscious drives/desires, you could have been told you were not good enough by parents or close family members.

 You could have been Bullied or rejected at school for yourself expression, revisiting old wounds is hard for you to do.



So you ignore it and create a fantasy world, one where you trauma does not exist, typically both partners, and all partners in a plutonic relationship.

After all, we are in the age of gender fluidity, throuples and relationship anarchy……

Yet the most plutonic person will be the one that is more stubborn and refuses change and stunts the transformation of the relationship. However, the more obsessive/  the one being possessive, by their ideal person can find it hard to move on too…

Yet contrary to popular belief’s these relationships can be transcended, BUT ONLY if both partners are prepared to separate to change their behaviours on their own.

Before coming back together.

After a substantial period of transformation on ALL individuals INVOLVED, parts, the reason why change has to be done apart.

Is that initially the plutonic person will be resistant to change and will pretend to change to keep Persephone, if Persephone is brave they will leave.

After all, if you love something let it go right if it comes back it was meant to be.

So yes this will be hard to do, person, as I shall now call you but you must do to regain your self-worth which you must do.

You should never sell yourself out for love, which you will do every second you are in an untransformed plutonic relationship.

There’s no love like self-love.

I was in a plutonic relationship myself, and there was a constant voice that increased telling me how far away from my authentic me I was being.

In plutonic relationship, the more submissive person normally learns to not say certain things or act in ways that trigger of the more plutonic person abuse.

Day by day, you become less than a shadow of your former self, you get literally dragged into the world of Hades.

This plays out in many ways, in short, you get dragged into activities or habits you know are not healthy yet, your under a spell, after all, they are the one?

Are they not…but more about that later, when I will discuss the esoteric, spiritual and hidden meaning of plutonic relationships.


The people involved plutonic relationships often get into other relationships when they can play the role of Hades or.

In plutonic relationships, both partners tend to have strong Pluto placements in their individual natal charts.

Such as moon conjunct Pluto, Moon conjunct Pluto where the moon and Pluto also oppose Venus.

Pluto in the 7th or 8th house, Pluto in Aquarius or Aries, any squares involving Pluto.

Where Pluto is in anyone’s birth chart represents is where their guilt and resentment is, note resentment is just shame, guilt and regret turned inward.


Potent Pluto contacts in the synastry  ( compatibility) chart indicates the karma and fate all parties will play out in the relationship.

Connections and placements between person 1 of the couple or throuples, Pluto and the other persons north, south node,  sun, mars, moon, ascendant or north nodes.

Even connections with asteroids Chiron, Pallas, vesta, sedena and eris, show where the karma, guilt and shame is playing out.


Especially if Pluto is in any of the following signs aries, Sagittarius, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius or Taurus

The interchangeability of relationships with a strong Plutonic influence.

I mention earlier my role as Persephone in my last relationship, I have been single ever since,  as I decided to go within and sort my life out, as well as train myself to have unconditional love, compassion and more importantly understanding for myself.

Learning to Accept all aspects of my personality, The shadow and the light, because on deeper reflection I realise I have been Hades in relationships too, but I do have strong Pluto placements in my natal chart.

TBH,  everyone has an array of “good” and “bad” traits in them, it’s just to what extent, how they are triggered and how to manage them.

The thing with roles in life we often interchange them. And the things we usually hate in others we often don’t or refuse to see in ourselves.

Having negative personality traits is not as severe as some astrologers make out if you know that you will have to do the lifelong work.

Of transcending your negative behaviours, first, you must radically accept where you are in any given moment.

Yet i don’t condone any form of violence or abuse towards others, verbal, sexual, psychological or racial.

If you doing this in a relationship seek help for your own sake and that of your partner, especially if they are children.

Note we all fall down in life, we all trip into the rabbit hole, but there is always hope where there is a will to change.

So yes, back to Persephone, you must leave the more plutonic person, and stay away until the plutonic individual(s)shows they have changed.

Remember they will pretend they have changed, to get you to stay or come back,  when they have not but watch their actions, keep your distance at first as their actions never lie.

Oh yeah Persephone face your own shadow, sometimes the more “Persephoney”, person can wear the mask of Mr. or Mrs. nice, but this is a mask, as they create a false world in which they colour everyone as good.

Trying to see the best in everyone often ignoring their very real shadow, after all, you have learnt, or so you think to deal with your own shadow. But the thing is you have not, you usually bury it, and ignore any signs of it existing.

Repression is not acceptance

You often refuse to see the true shadow in others because you fear dealing with your own shadow.

So you make an excuse for others darkness and ignore your own, plutonic relationship show up in life to reveal your own self-destruction.

By bringing you to your trigger points, like a pot to the boil, after all, not dealing with your emotions is your biggest habit.

So is subjecting yourself to others abuse,  sometimes as sssome twisted form of penance, for past transgressions, your malleability is also a problem.

You must learn to be yourself Persephone, not only when you’re single but also when you’re in relationships.

There are parts of you should never give up or give away to anyone, I know it may be hard, this is why you should seek out support to heal your issues.

Then you will not fall into the traps and snares of plutonic relationships.

Plutonic relationships continued

The plutonic person manipulates Persephone person from the start, they will mould themselves superficially to be what Persephone wants, as they know she is free, but their plan is always to break Persephone down and stop her growth.

 However persophoney , also plays the game of moulding herself to fit the more Hades/ plutonic persons needs. Drawn in, in a hypnotic manner, both Hades and Persephone, dance there merry dance, until one of them, usually Persephone,  jumps ship for good.

How does the plutonic, individual break down Persephone, simple typically people involved in these types of relationships have been repeating this stale relationship pattern.

Lifetime in and lifetime out, they know each other very well, see films like the master and what dreams may come to see what i am talking about. Both films so both ends of the soul friend/ soul lover relationship, and what types of ones we should fight for, as well as knowing when to call it quits

I mention the master as although the characters involved in the film are not in a romantic relationship, however, it illustrates exactly what Persephone must do, and they must turn their back on the plutonic person if they refuse to change.

How many chances are you going to give them and are you going to waste another lifetime on them?


The spiritual meaning behind plutonic relationships are they the one, your twin flame,….well the proof is in the pudding.


How do they make you feel?

Like you cannot be yourself ?

Like you don’t deserve them?


Like your whole being s consumed by them, yes we can love the bones of someone, but yano you gotta eat, so you got to work, you have to grow, so you need space to do that even if is one hour a day.

A healthy relationship is one where both individuals involved, as well as the relationship created by all parties coming together, grows, if it stays the same, stagnate in toxic patterns of thought, words, actions and reactions.

Then its a game of obsession and possession your playing, not one of growth and self-liberation.

Then it’s not your twin flame, it’s your plutonic, often karmatic bond, where all parties feel compelled to go into the relationship, even though they know it won’t last.

This bond has to be broken; you have often spent lifetimes spent in drama, cheating, lying, addiction, promiscuity, violence, imprisonment, now the bond is very Stockholm syndrome ridden.


It’s not healthy for these reasons; Persephone is scared of the plutonic person and what they will do if they leave.

The more Plutonic persons secretly or subconsciously hates Persephone, and Persephone fears the more Pluto.

The reason the more plutonic person hates Persephone is that they are everything they wish they can be, freer. The more plutonic person is often the more addictive and manipulative, participant, who is less willing to change there ways.

Like little ride riding hood, breezing through life, well at least on the surface as I said Persephone often, has done some self-work on themselves.

But they are blind spots and unhealed subconscious wounds that must be confronted until they can move on to their butterfly, then phoenix stage of their personal growth.

What Pluto can’t control, it fears. Doesn’t like change, prefers to stay and live in past, will never fully face own daemons, may change a bit due to age.

The more plutonic individual doesn’t like Persephone to have a social life, family connections or anything outside of the relationship and will work to isolate Persephone.

All partners involved in plutonic relationships feels like being in a trance and under some sort of spell or intoxication.

Its like road to kill yano, both parties, are magnetically drawn to each other,  as I mentioned earlier, they may be doubts in one or both partner’s minds, but it’s like they can’t stop the feeling.

As Pluto and mars co-rules Scorpio, and as we know, Scorpio is a real sexual and intensely emotional, fixed water sign. Mars, Pluto, Aries and Scorpio can be very hot, raw, streaming impulsive signs.

It’s like a bond that can’t be broken but is breakable at the same time, the relationship status is always rocky, can have weekly or daily makeups.

Very dramatic, karmatic, as these plutonic relationships bring up the things we try to hide, even from ourselves, both partners act as each other’s mirrors, hypnotising each other in.

Can be like one or two energy vampires, feeding off the good times which are few and far between to the 99.9 per cent terrible times.

The weaker Pluto person, falls deeper into the pits of psychological isolation, plunging into the underworld, totally becoming their lower self.

Hiding their free and higher personality traits, as they subconsciously feels that doing so makes the more Plutonic Person happy.

Pluto will make comments to hurt Persephone and does not like any growth Persephone partakes in, The Plutonic half of the relationship stunts and restricts the growth of the other partner as they are afraid of losing them.

Persopones helps the plutonic person hurt her by complying and not standing up for their truth, a brainwashing type of relationship,   that can take away your hope, faith and will.

Until you wkae up and smell the coffee.

The relationship becomes the persophone Person a sense of duty, self-protection as thinks they can no longer live in a world without Pluto.

But what they are actually picking up on here,  is the more plutonic person fears, don’t forget Scorpio and Pluto energy is profoundly psychic and intuitive.

 Very susceptible to vibrations and emotional undercurrents, the more plutonic person is very tuned with Persephone fears and insecurities.

So they manipulate you in subtle ways, they do overtly abuse you too, but more common when you threaten to leave or they pick up on your pulling back this in when the more plutonic person.

Starts with the love bombing, so you can make passionate love in the way you do, Persephone takes this for an accurate display of love and affection and the cycle starts again.

The plutonic person can use sex to feign intimacy and love, also to drain Persephone of their vital energies so they can bring her back down from her high.


Unless the plutonic person is really is prepared to change their ways, completely, then they always are dangerous to Persephone.

Until Persephone sees this they will always be fooled, again as i said if both partners agree to change, then this can be a bond like no other, but generally  this is not what plutonic relationships are about.


It’s about facing our shadow, accepting people for who they are, finding out what you want from yourself and relationship. Creating a plan to achieve your wants and needs, as well as balancing all areas of your life, the Financial, spiritual, emotional, emotional and physical.

Never go back, run, Persephone, as fast as you can like forest Gump, run like the wind, into the hills for cover.

Typically when people stay in these bonds, end up walking on eggshell, becoming hells of their former selves, failing to reach their highest potential.

And don’I think i mean any disrespect, yes we must be loyal to those who loyal to us.

But if love hurts and causes destruction to your own psychological heath, your children, friends, family, then it not love, its obsession or possession.

The proof is in the pudding, do you feel weak, are you a shadow of your former self, are your finances in ruin, are there problems at work, are you kids having problems at school, all because of this relationship.

Then it’s not worth it, is your love, your soul mate, twin flame connection, worth the destruction of everything and everyone else, the answer is no, this is why i choose to leave my plutonic relationship.

And vowed to heal the emotional wounds that made me prone to these intense relationships in the first place.

Normally unhealed trauma especially taboo trauma like rape, incest, rape etc, make us inclined to chaotic relationships, if you grow up in chaos, you will be prone to plutonic relationships.

Themes of Control, insecurities, fear of abandonment and rejection…. which eventually drives the relationship, into annihilation, plague the whole relationships

Unless both partners agree to work together, which as I keep saying is an uncommon occurrence, to adjust their lives and modes of expression,.

Naturally one of two things happens, Persephone, loses all sense of self and stays in hell with Hades.

Or Persephone leaves to give birth to their true self. As the plutonic person refuse change, so Persephone is dragged down  further into hell,until they wake up.

In summary, A un-evolved Pluto dominate person, controls not to be abandoned, they profess to love Persephone, but what they feel is not love, its possession, self-interest, egotistical, control, revenge at times but never, ever, love although they good at putting on the charm of love.

Stopping someone’s growth is never love, Pluto will never let go, especially if their Pluto is an aspect to the non/ lesser-plutonic persons, moon, venus, sun, Uranus, mars.

Pluto can be stalker and manipulative, will put on a mask of friendliness even pretend they have changed to get Perso back.

Don’t get me wrong i have empathy for the plutonic person having played both roles in my life, but unless they do the work to change, then they will never change.

Honest advice on the Pluto-nic relationship, it's yours to take or leave, after all we all have free will

Psst, psst persophne,  the purpose of this relationship it is not so much to save it but it is more about transcending the need to hide your own emotions, and you need to deal with you unhealed trauma. This goes for the more plutonic –Hades Person too.

Perso your life will never be the same again, and the plutonic person will always mourn your loss, often when you think  its your own feelings calling you back to the Pluto-nic Person, it’s not.

Its the Pluto-nic Person trying to psychically win you back,  remember these types of relationship runs deep, you too are overly familiar with each other especially on the spiritual level.

You will open up to many hidden aspects of yourself Perso, especially you sexual desires, hidden addictions, psychological illnesses, your own emotional instability, the list goes on

The more plutonic person knows you inside out, your psychic too perso, you just need to learn to trust the psychic impressions you get, you can’t be friends with your ex  the wounds and passion run too deep, , it will hurt to leave and you can miss them for life.

But never go back in my opinion, remember they can use illusion to pretend their change to reel you in again and then when you realise you bene tricked you may stay for life, over feeling shame for having gone back in the first place.

The bond you share is not based on true intimacy and growth, its formed on stagnation, sexual or psychic hypnosis or spells.

Pluto is there to awaken Persephone into healing and learning to work with their own shadow side.

Unrequited or inequal love never works out, the plutonic person drains Persephones cup, without even replenishing it, leaving persophone without the psychological strength to go about their day to day life.

Often Persephones problem is the fact that they cannot believe they been tricked in a un-evoled Hades  person, world, this cause them great shame and distress, you must learn to forgive yourself.

Don’t beat yourself up, you were always meant to overcome the need for these types of relationship, where every day is groundhog day.

The evolved Pluto relationships, where two people with strong Pluto connections meet after they have done inner work in their life, individually can be powerful, I am going to write about this soon.


For now, take care, and no, no one, is worth your own self-destruction, we all make mistakes, we all deserve forgiveness, we can earn this by refining our character, learning our lessons, and doing as much good we can. But it healthy ways, which do no harm to you or anyone else.