The purpose of the plutonic relationship is to learn to transform yourself and learn to let go. Plutonic relationships show us our blind spots and the things which hold us back from becoming our highest self.
Plutonic relationships take you down into the abyss and shadows of your self-destruction and soul.
No one is perfect, we all have blemishes, what makes us complete, is taking responsibility for our choices.
Plutonic relationships are often based on dark, unexplained, often perplexing bonds; the connection can be intense and magnetic because both or all parties involved in a plutonic relationship are pulled in to each other’s subconscious and physical field of consciousness.
The first time you make love can be explosive; sometimes this happens on the first night, others it can take a few weeks, months or longer, but once it does, it’s like crack to pipe, to be honest about it, yano.
I am not advocating drugs; I am highlighting the addictive nature of it all, yano; the best drug is self-love, it’s cheaper, and hey, it cause less long term health issues.
Plutonic relationships often trigger past lives memories, and the energy between you work in one of two ways.
You have either lived many past lifetimes together, where you had a bonnie and Clyde type of connection.
Not saying you murdered and robbed banks together, but you were each other’s partners in crime; your past life connections may include cheating and dominatrix/ slave type power games.
This is why it appears in this lifetime one of you is the dog and the other, the master.
To put it bluntly, anyway, due to the events that happened in your past lifetime together, the trust has corroded between both of you.
But as we often cannot recall our past lives vividly, one or both of you will have a profoundly unsettling feeling within you when you first meet.
But typically, it’s the most Persephone person who is unnerved by the most Pluto person.
Whilst simultaneously being under their spell, until they see through Pluto’s often egotistical behaviour, Pluto can wear a mask of self-confidence; behind this persona is deep self-loathing and a low sense of worth.
Persephone can also have these feelings; still, they are more likely than not the most popular and integrated person of the couple, but Persephone also has low self-esteem, but they show this more outwardly.
Pluto- hades can be well-liked too, but their friends and family may appease them rather than truly like them, out of fear and knowing what they are really like under the superficial persona.
Even if Pluto shadiness is seen on the surface, what you see is bound to be 1/10ths of the darkness, which lays beneath their façade.
The second way a plutonic relationship works out is that one or both of you have had these sorts of intense relationships in your past lives and crave these types of connections in this current life, so you attracted each other.
By let’s call it, the law of attraction, to work out your karma, for the very start of your relationship, it’s like you deeply care for each other but dislike each other at the same time but hide, you may or not be consciously aware of this, but subconsciously it is there.
When you first meet, it is as though you’re enchanted by each other; it is not always the Pluto person who chases the connection; the more Persephone person can insist on making themselves a big part of the more plutonic person’s lives.
Usually, Pluto loves how Persephone seems better-rounded (has their shit together more) and winning at life more than them, but to highlight the illusionary nature of this connection.
When Persephone is under Pluto spell, they can view them as more together than them; they both don’t see each other clearly.
For who they really are, and this is part of the problem, you are both loving an ideal that is not the reality of each other.
But once the hold is established, it is the most Pluto person that gets the most neurotic and infatuated and won’t let go.
Still, Persephone can also keep going back; even though Perso is the most likely to leave, they are also the one, in all probability, to keep running back.
In the myth of Hades and Persephone, Hades was so attracted to Persephone, who in some myths is his niece, that he dragged her into the underworld and made love, putting it politely to her consent and held her in his realm against her will.
Her mother Demeterasked for her return to earth, but because Persephone ate 3 pomegranate seeds in the underworld, she had to stay there for part of the year.
The winter season is said to be when Demeter, mother earth- Gaia mourns the loss of her daughter for 3 months when she has to be with hades in the underworld.
On the esoteric level, plutonic relationships are seen as an initiation in your shadow side, especially if you are the type who refuses to see the darkness within yourself and therefore can easily see it in others.
Playlist to listen to when reading this, as lets face it, this is one looooonnnng article! For you millennials out there, sorry most of the songs are “boomer music” , lol
Blinded and obsessive relationships, which tend to have many destructive elements, such as one or both partners abusing alcohol or drugs.
Control issues at their worse can involve emotional, psychological or physical violence; one of the partners is egotistical and could have excessive narcissistic traits.
Yes, the other partner(s) could also have narcissistic traits and be a passive-aggressive, codependent type of connection, rather than interdependent
The person with the most substantial Pluto aspects in their natal chart will rule the relationship, even if the other person has a strong Pluto aspect/ influence in their natal chart.
The strongest Pluto person holds power in the plutonic relationship; extra attention should be given to Pluto, Mars, Pisces, Neptune and Saturn contacts to Mars and Pluto in the synastry chart.
Pluto is about subconscious transformation; Pluto co-rules Scorpio and the 8th house with Mars.
Pluto in a natal chart wants you to transform your negative thoughts, behaviours and any self destructive habits.
In relation to the houses it is in and the aspects it makes with other planets and asteroids.
The 8th house is more about the things we bury and hide because there is too much trauma, shame, regret or guilt put on them. Whereas the things hidden in our 12th house are often things we are unaware of doing or being.
A plutonic relationship is often based on unresolved, subconscious–psychological/ soul trauma due to unhealed childhood or early adulthood trauma or abuse.
Traumas involving Embarrassment about your sexuality as a youth, issues around self-expression, subconscious drives/desires, you could have been told you were not good enough by parents or close family members.
You could have been Bullied or rejected at school for your, self expression; revisiting old wounds is hard for you to do.
Typically problems in these types of relationships are pretty clear from day one, but so are the intense emotions and the feeling of each other being the other person, “one”, even when the red flags become clear.
You ignore them and create a fantasy world where trauma does not exist, well the trauma actually does always exist, inside each of you, and in the relationship you create together.
Typically both partners partners in a plutonic relationship, have undealt with emotional and psychological baggage, that they refuse to face, completely.
After all, we are in the age of gender fluidity, throuples and relationship anarchy…… so a plutonic relationship, can occur between more than 2, people, and things get even more complicated.
But codependence is the main theme in all Plutonic relationships , as well as deep mistrust.
The most plutonic person in the relationship, will be the one who is more stubborn and refuses change, which stunts the Plutonic relationship’s transformation.
However, the more obsessive/ the one being possessive, by their “ideal person”, can find it hard to move on too…
Yet contrary to popular belief’s these relationships can be transcended, BUT ONLY if both partners are prepared to separate to change their behaviours on their own.
Before coming back together.
After a substantial period of time apart, transformation of the plutonic relationship can happen.
But only if ALL individuals INVOLVED, agree to do this work alone, the reason why change has to be done apart.
Is that initially, the plutonic person will be resistant to change and will pretend to change to keep Persephone, if Persephone is brave, they will leave.
And give the more plutonic person , a ultimatum, if you change i will come back, if you dont , i wont come back.
I will want proof of this change before I come back and you must get help for all your problems, and face them alone, without me.
After all, if you love something, let it go right if it comes back it was meant to be.
So yes, this will be hard to do, Perso, as I shall now call you, to let go of your obsession, but you must do to regain your self-worth, which you must do….at all cost.
If you really love Pluto and they are the one, let them go.
Perso, You should never sell yourself out, or sustain abuse for love, which you will do every second; you are in an untransformed plutonic relationship.
No, if buts or maybes, so it is best to gather your strength day by day until you can leave, get support to do so if you can, you will have to block them completely for a while.
They will turn chameleon to try and get you back, you will succumb eventually if you stay in contact, so it is best to leave them and work on loving yourself completely, your Hades and Persephone side, then you will come to know what true love is.
There’s no love like self-love.
I was in a plutonic relationship myself, and there was a constant voice that increased over time, telling me how far away from my authentic me I was being.
But the more it increased, the weaker I got, until one day I woke up and smelled the coffee; I figured it hurt 1% less being alone when without them, then felling alone with them.
In a plutonic relationship, the more submissive person typically learns to not say certain things or act in ways that trigger the more plutonic person abuse.
Day by day, you become less than a shadow of your former self; you get literally dragged into the world of Hades.
This plays out in many ways; in short, you get dragged into activities or habits you know are not healthy yet, you are under a spell; after all, they are the one?
Are they not…but more about that later, when I will discuss the esoteric, spiritual and hidden meaning of plutonic relationships.
The people involved plutonic relationships often get into other relationships when they can play the role of Hades or Persephone.
In plutonic relationships, both partners tend to have strong Pluto placements in their individual natal charts.
Such as moon conjunct Pluto, Moon conjunct Pluto where the moon and Pluto also oppose Venus.
Pluto in the 7th or 8th house, Pluto in Aquarius or Aries, any squares involving Pluto.
Where Pluto is in anyone’s birth chart represents is where their guilt and resentment is, note resentment is just shame, guilt and regret turned inward.
Potent Pluto contacts in the synastry ( compatibility) chart indicates the karma and fate all parties will play out in the relationship.
Connections and placements between person 1 of the couple or throuples, Pluto and the other persons north, south node, sun, mars, moon, ascendant or north nodes.
Even connections with asteroids Chiron, Pallas, vesta, sedena and Eris, show where the karma, guilt and shame is playing out.
Especially if Pluto is in any of the following Aries: Sagittarius, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius or Taurus.
Note not all relationships with strong Pluto energy in Synastry end up being plutonic relationships; if both people are individuals, in their own right and secure in themselves, then the union will be power couple like.
This is the same with all Pluto aspects in your natal chart; if you work on yourself, you can transform your lower Pluto urges- to control, manipulate etc., into higher Pluto traits. To help others grow, first, you will have to develop yourself.
Nothing in life is fixed, and know you can transform, and Pluto is the planet of regeneration.
So anything can happen; some people who are born with strong Pluto energy never act out the destructive behaviours and thoughts associated with Pluto.
This is down to their soul age and them having learned or being blessed with the ability to use their plutonic traits for their own and other highest good from birth.
It is essential not to be fatalistic.
Nevertheless, these aspects can indicate a tendency to plutonic relationships in a natal chart
Pluto conjunct Moon, ascendant, Venus, Mars ( Pluto in 1st house), stronger if pluto conjunct any of these planets in the 1st or 2nd house.
Pluto conjunct Venus, Mars, Uranus
Pluto square, opposes or quincunx Mars, Uranus, moon, sun, Venus or moon
Can all indicate your propensity to plutonic relationships, as well as Pluto in the 2nd, 8th or 12th hosue, aspected or not.
Pluto in Scorpio, aries may also make you seek out these types of relationships.
Pluto conjunct other persons, Saturn, moon, Venus, Mars, Neptune or Uranus
Pluto oppose quincunx, square, semi-square moon, Venus, Uranus, Neptune, Saturn or mars.
Pluto making any aspect to your north or south node and other planets( Saturn, sun, moon, etc.); in general, making contact with your north or south node indicates a karmic connection.
Yes, in short, only if you are both willing to grow you could enter couples counselling and work things out that way, but because of the intensity, you may have to live apart or separate while you both work on your issues.
Why is a separation needed? , Ultimately, this type of bond is the type where you can forget to feed your pets, the kids or yourself.
I don’t want to sound dramatic or blasé to any form of neglect.
Especially that off children and pets, but it is as if no one else in the world, but you two when you’re in a plutonic relationship.
And you can forget your day to day responsibilities; this is why these types of relationships become chaotic and unsustainable over time.
Because reality forces you to see that they are other things you should be taking care of.
What are the main themes of plutonic relationships? Intense attraction, confusion, overpowering feelings, infatuation, obsession, possession, jealousy, lies and suspicion.
Manipulation, Closeness vs distance, control issues and power struggles, one of you tends to be the more Pluto- Hades dominant- person, and the other the more Persephone- more passive-aggressive, afraid of their own shadow person.
But the roles can interchange, the more Persephone type person may be an innocent party, or they may want to appear this way, but they can be dominant, but in a more subtle-subversive way.
Nonetheless, one of you is more Pluto in the relationship and the other Persephone.
However, your plutonic relationship works out ultimately; they happen to show you aspects of yourself you’re aware of or hiding from to trigger a healing response.
Until you understand and manage your psychological and emotional wounds, they will control you; until you realise that nothing or none is worthy of neglecting yourself and your responsibilities.
This is why it’s crucial to make the subconscious, conscious.
Although they are at first highly destructive, they hold a mirror up so you can see your own reflection and work on your blind spots so you can transform and learn to be a more well rounded, stable, secure, aware person who, above all, loves themselves.
Knowing love never means feeling less than and having to hide who you are.
For you must love and accept your own shadow before you can see and authentically accept anyone else.
In plutonic relationships, you are both like each other drugs; they will always be broken hearts. Still, they can also be broken jewellery, tv’s ripped clothes, and other things you destroy in your passions, burnt money, broken windows, cars, big confessions of love, makeup sex, breakups just to have makeup sex.
Very passionate and intense, but we all have to come down from our highs eventually and find the balance needed to live a successful life.
Friends leave, they may come back to give interventions along with family members, work colleagues may try to help, long term friendships and family bonds all threaten, damm people have gone bankrupt in these connections.
Persephone doesn’t want to lose Pluto – hades, they walk on eggshells, Pluto doesn’t want to lose Perso, after all, she kinda worships the ground they walk on, so…
Plut slowly stripes persophone of any self-worth they have, its not hard because, after all, yano, it was fragile anyway; they may partake in criminal or underground acts, the aspects of all of the relationship becomes secretive.
But in the end, persophone wakes up; at times, it can be too late, and she is beyond a shadow of her former self, and may not be able to leave without intervention, thankfully sometimes, this comes.
Other times Persephone wakes up herself, realising they too have very plutonic tendencies, they leave the relationship.
They do the work on themselves, and they evolve, Pluto may do the same.. and must do if he wants Persephone back.
I mentioned earlier my role as Persephone in my last relationship; I have been single ever since.
I decided to go within and sort my life out and train myself to have unconditional love, compassion, and, more importantly, understanding for myself.
Learning to Accept all aspects of my personality, The shadow and the light, because, on deeper reflection, I realise I have been Hades in relationships too, but I do have strong Pluto placements in my natal chart.
TBH, everyone has an array of “good” and “bad” traits in them; it’s just to what extent, how they are triggered and how to manage them.
The thing with roles in life is that we often interchange them. And the stuff we usually hate in others we often don’t or refuse to see in ourselves.
Having negative personality traits is not as severe as some astrologers make out if you know that you will have to do the lifelong work.
Of transcending your negative behaviours, first, you must radically accept where you are at any given moment.
Yet I don’t condone any form of violence or abuse towards others, verbal, sexual, psychological or racial.
If you doing this in a relationship, seek help for your own sake and that of your partner, especially if they are children.
Note we all fall down in life; we all trip into the rabbit hole, but there is always hope where there is a will to change.
So yes, back to Persephone, you must leave the more plutonic person and stay away until the plutonic individual(s)shows they have changed.
Remember they will pretend they have changed to get you to stay or come back when they have not but watch their actions, keep your distance at first as their actions never lie.
Oh yeah, Persephone, face your own shadow, sometimes the more “Persephoney”, person can wear the mask of Mr. or Mrs. nice, but this is a mask, as they create a false world in which they colour everyone as good.
Trying to see the best in everyone often ignoring their very real shadow; after all, you have learnt, or so you think to deal with your own shadow. But the thing is, you have not; you usually bury it, and ignore any signs of it existing.
Repression is not acceptance
You often refuse to see the shadow in others because you fear dealing with your own shadow.
So you make an excuse for others darkness and ignore your own, plutonic relationship to show up in life to reveal your own self-destruction.
By bringing you to your trigger points, like a pot to the boil, after all, not dealing with your emotions is your biggest habit.
So is subjecting yourself to others abuse, sometimes as some twisted form of penance, for past transgressions, your malleability is also a problem.
You must learn to be yourself, Persephone, not only when you’re single but also when you’re in relationships.
There are parts of you should never give up or give away to anyone; I know it may be challenging to achieve; this is why you should seek out support to heal your issues.
Then you will not fall into the traps and snares of plutonic relationships.
The plutonic person manipulates Persephone person from the start, they will mould themselves superficially to be what Persephone wants, as they know she is free, but their plan is always to break Persephone down and stop her growth.
However persophoney , also plays the game of moulding herself to fit the more Hades/ plutonic persons needs. Drawn in, in a hypnotic manner, both Hades and Persephone, dance there merry dance, until one of them, usually Persephone, jumps ship for good.
How does the plutonic, individual break down Persephone, simple typically people involved in these types of relationships have been repeating this stale relationship pattern.
Lifetime in and lifetime out, they know each other very well, see films like the master and what dreams may come to see what i am talking about. Both films so both ends of the soul friend/ soul lover relationship, and what types of ones we should fight for, as well as knowing when to call it quits
I mention the master as although the characters involved in the film are not in a romantic relationship, however, it illustrates exactly what Persephone must do, and they must turn their back on the plutonic person if they refuse to change.
How many chances are you going to give them and are you going to waste another lifetime on them?
The spiritual meaning behind plutonic relationships are they the one, your twin flame,….well the proof is in the pudding.
How do they make you feel?
Like you cannot be yourself ?
Like you don’t deserve them?
Like your whole being s consumed by them, yes we can love the bones of someone, but yano you gotta eat, so you got to work, you have to grow, so you need space to do that even if is one hour a day.
A healthy relationship is one where both individuals involved, as well as the relationship created by all parties coming together, grows, if it stays the same, stagnate in toxic patterns of thought, words, actions and reactions.
Then its a game of obsession and possession your playing, not one of growth and self-liberation.
Then it’s not your twin flame, it’s your plutonic, often karmatic bond, where all parties feel compelled to go into the relationship, even though they know it won’t last.
This bond has to be broken; you have often spent lifetimes spent in drama, cheating, lying, addiction, promiscuity, violence, imprisonment, now the bond is very Stockholm syndrome ridden.
It’s not healthy for these reasons; Persephone is scared of the plutonic person and what they will do if they leave.
The more Plutonic persons secretly or subconsciously hates Persephone, and Persephone fears the more Pluto.
The reason the more plutonic person hates Persephone is that they are everything they wish they can be, freer. The more plutonic person is often the more addictive and manipulative, participant, who is less willing to change there ways.
Like little ride riding hood, breezing through life, well at least on the surface as I said Persephone often, has done some self-work on themselves.
But they are blind spots and unhealed subconscious wounds that must be confronted until they can move on to their butterfly, then phoenix stage of their personal growth.
What Pluto can’t control, it fears. Doesn’t like change, prefers to stay and live in past, will never fully face own daemons, may change a bit due to age.
The more plutonic individual doesn’t like Persephone to have a social life, family connections or anything outside of the relationship and will work to isolate Persephone.
All partners involved in plutonic relationships feels like being in a trance and under some sort of spell or intoxication.
Its like road to kill yano, both parties, are magnetically drawn to each other, as I mentioned earlier, they may be doubts in one or both partner’s minds, but it’s like they can’t stop the feeling.
As Pluto and mars co-rules Scorpio, and as we know, Scorpio is a real sexual and intensely emotional, fixed water sign. Mars, Pluto, Aries and Scorpio can be very hot, raw, streaming impulsive signs.
It’s like a bond that can’t be broken but is breakable at the same time, the relationship status is always rocky, can have weekly or daily makeups.
Very dramatic, karmatic, as these plutonic relationships bring up the things we try to hide, even from ourselves, both partners act as each other’s mirrors, hypnotising each other in.
Can be like one or two energy vampires, feeding off the good times which are few and far between to the 99.9 per cent terrible times.
The weaker Pluto person, falls deeper into the pits of psychological isolation, plunging into the underworld, totally becoming their lower self.
Hiding their free and higher personality traits, as they subconsciously feels that doing so makes the more Plutonic Person happy.
Pluto will make comments to hurt Persephone and does not like any growth Persephone partakes in, The Plutonic half of the relationship stunts and restricts the growth of the other partner as they are afraid of losing them.
Persopones helps the plutonic person hurt her by complying and not standing up for their truth, a brainwashing type of relationship, that can take away your hope, faith and will.
Until you wkae up and smell the coffee.
The relationship becomes the persophone Person a sense of duty, self-protection as thinks they can no longer live in a world without Pluto.
But what they are actually picking up on here, is the more plutonic person fears, don’t forget Scorpio and Pluto energy is profoundly psychic and intuitive.
Very susceptible to vibrations and emotional undercurrents, the more plutonic person is very tuned with Persephone fears and insecurities.
So they manipulate you in subtle ways, they do overtly abuse you too, but more common when you threaten to leave or they pick up on your pulling back this in when the more plutonic person.
Starts with the love bombing, so you can make passionate love in the way you do, Persephone takes this for an accurate display of love and affection and the cycle starts again.
The plutonic person can use sex to feign intimacy and love, also to drain Persephone of their vital energies so they can bring her back down from her high.
Unless the plutonic person is really is prepared to change their ways, completely, then they always are dangerous to Persephone.
Until Persephone sees this they will always be fooled, again as i said if both partners agree to change, then this can be a bond like no other, but generally this is not what plutonic relationships are about.
It’s about facing our shadow, accepting people for who they are, finding out what you want from yourself and relationship. Creating a plan to achieve your wants and needs, as well as balancing all areas of your life, the Financial, spiritual, emotional, emotional and physical.
Never go back, run, Persephone, as fast as you can like forest Gump, run like the wind, into the hills for cover.
Typically when people stay in these bonds, end up walking on eggshell, becoming hells of their former selves, failing to reach their highest potential.
And don’I think i mean any disrespect, yes we must be loyal to those who loyal to us.
But if love hurts and causes destruction to your own psychological heath, your children, friends, family, then it not love, its obsession or possession.
The proof is in the pudding, do you feel weak, are you a shadow of your former self, are your finances in ruin, are there problems at work, are you kids having problems at school, all because of this relationship.
Then it’s not worth it, is your love, your soul mate, twin flame connection, worth the destruction of everything and everyone else, the answer is no, this is why i choose to leave my plutonic relationship.
And vowed to heal the emotional wounds that made me prone to these intense relationships in the first place.
Normally unhealed trauma especially taboo trauma like rape, incest, rape etc, make us inclined to chaotic relationships, if you grow up in chaos, you will be prone to plutonic relationships.
Themes of Control, insecurities, fear of abandonment and rejection…. which eventually drives the relationship, into annihilation, plague the whole relationships
Unless both partners agree to work together, which as I keep saying is an uncommon occurrence, to adjust their lives and modes of expression,.
Naturally one of two things happens, Persephone, loses all sense of self and stays in hell with Hades.
Or Persephone leaves to give birth to their true self. As the plutonic person refuse change, so Persephone is dragged down further into hell, until they wake up.
In summary, A un-evolved Pluto dominate person, controls so they are not abandoned, they profess to love Persephone, but what they feel is not love, its possession, self-interest, egotistical, control, revenge at times but never, ever, love although they good at putting on the charm of love.
Stopping someone’s growth is never love, Pluto will never let go, especially if their Pluto is an aspect to the non/ lesser-plutonic persons, moon, venus, sun, Uranus, mars.
Pluto can be stalker and manipulative, will put on a mask of friendliness even pretend they have changed to get Perso back.
Don’t get me wrong i have empathy for the plutonic person having played both roles in my life, but unless they do the work to change, then they will never change.
Psst, psst persophone, the purpose of this relationship is not so much to save it, but it is more about transcending the need to hide your own emotions and running from healing your trauma.
This goes for the more plutonic –Hades Person too.
Perso, your life will never be the same again, and the plutonic person will always mourn your loss, often when you think it is your own feelings calling you back to the Pluto-nic Person, it’s not.
It is the Pluto-nic Person trying to psychically win you back; remember, these types of relationship runs deep; you too are overly familiar with each other on the spiritual level.
You will open up to many hidden aspects of yourself Perso, especially you sexual desires, hidden addictions, psychological illnesses, your own emotional instability, the list goes on
The more plutonic person knows you inside out, your psychic too perso, you just need to learn to trust the psychic impressions you get, you can’t be friends with your ex the wounds and passion run too deep, , it will hurt to leave, and you can miss them for life.
But never go back, in my opinion, remember they can use illusion to pretend their change to reel you in again and then when you realise you bene tricked you may stay for life, over feeling shame for having gone back in the first place.
The bond you share is not based on true intimacy and growth, it is formed on stagnation, sexual or psychic hypnosis or spells.
Pluto is there to awaken Persephone into healing and learning to work with their own shadow side.
Unrequited or inequal love never works out; the plutonic person drains Persephones cup without even replenishing it, leaving persophone, without the psychological strength to go about their day to day life.
Often Persephones problem is the fact that they cannot believe they have been tricked by the un-evoled Hades person, world; this causes them great shame and distress, you must learn to forgive yourself.
After all, you have been waiting lifetimes for this person to evolve and grow with your, right?
Don’t beat yourself up; you were always meant to overcome the need for these types of relationships, where every day is groundhog day.
The evolved Pluto relationships, where two people with strong Pluto connections meet after they have done inner work in their life, individually can be powerful; I am going to write about this soon.
For now, take care, and no, no one is worth your own self-destruction; we all make mistakes, we all deserve forgiveness, we can earn this by refining our character.
Learning our lessons and doing as much good we can. But it healthy ways, which do no harm to you or anyone else.